Interdependence means that things rely on each other for survival, success, or function. This applies to all relationships, whether in business, partnerships, biology, or the global economy. In a healthy relationship, for example, partners rely on each other for support, love, and companionship, while still maintaining their individual identities.
When we practice meditation, especially when we are beginners, it is difficult to keep our minds from straying to the day-to-day activities and the emotions that may be causing turmoil within us. Many times, we give up, saying, “I just can’t meditate.” We decide we just aren’t cut out for it and stop trying.
There was a story the Dalai Lama recounted about a man who had been imprisoned for many years in a Chinese gulag. Once released, he returned to India and met with the Dalai Lama. During their conversation, the man mentioned that he had experienced a deep sense of fear. But when the Dalai Lama asked what kind of danger he was fearing, the man said, “I fear the danger of losing my compassion for the Chinese prison guards.”
Pretty remarkable, right? It suggests that when a person has this kind of mindset—one that values compassion above all else—such a person is never going to willingly embrace hatred. This raises an important question: How high is your bar?
You might hear this story and think, I could never be like that. But let’s put it into perspective. Imagine watching an Olympic medalist run and thinking you could never run that well.
So, should we all aim for the level of compassion that this man in the Chinese prison reached? Or is that too high of a goal for most of us? If we hear something so elevated, will it discourage us from even trying?
Not everyone should try to reach that level. What’s important is our outlook on emotions—whether we understand their destructive nature and whether we are convinced of the value of positive mental states. That outlook is what ultimately determines how we respond to challenges in our lives.
The goal is to develop an outlook in which we fully realize the interdependent nature of well-being—ours and others’.
Interdependence means that things rely on each other for survival, success, or function. This applies to all relationships, whether in business, partnerships, biology, or the global economy. In a healthy relationship, for example, partners rely on each other for support, love, and companionship, while still maintaining their individual identities.
The former prisoner understood this. He realized that holding on to anger and resentment toward those who had imprisoned him would only keep those emotions alive within himself.
The problem for humans is that our emotions are intertwined with our intelligence and memory. Our emotions are textured with all kinds of experiences, thoughts, and stories we tell ourselves. Overcoming destructive emotions isn’t just about trying harder—it requires mindfulness, thoughtfulness, and training.
Many Buddhist texts focus on the spiritual journey of enlightenment, emphasizing the cultivation of faith and a high level of compassion. Perhaps this is even more relevant than simply trying to improve our emotional life. Because if we shift our focus toward compassion, then naturally, our emotional life will transform as well.
Going back to the example of an Olympic runner: very few of us will ever reach that level. But if we practice, we can all learn how to run farther. Likewise, not all of us will attain the level of compassion that the Dalai Lama embodies, but we can all move in that direction.
The goal is to cultivate an outlook where the understanding of interdependence becomes second nature. Not just a fleeting thought like “I should be more compassionate. I’ll try harder.” but an ingrained way of thinking—one that reorganizes your entire value system.
When this outlook becomes the core of your being, then losing your compassion becomes something you fear.
So, ask yourself: How high is your bar?